I really don't think anyone cares... [19 Jan 2004|12:51pm] [ mood | confused ] 2 snow days in a row, not bad, specially considering there wasnt much snow... so its been ok, not that great, friday i had another roadtesat, and the roads were horrible, but i failed once again, because my first test, my tester dude guy person tells me to stop at the stop sign, pull up a little, then stop again before i make the turn. So then this guy asks me before the test if i had any questions, and i said no. So after the test we're sitting in the car, and he goes blah blah what happened on ur first roadtest, so i told him, and he goes... o well, if i had known that, i would've not taken off so many points, and things would be under totally different circumstances, but I can't reprint out your receipt again, so instead of passing, You'll just have to sign up for another road test, but you will do fineand you shouldve asked me about the stop signs before the test...... I was like what the fuck is that, I'm not gonna ask a question about what another driver tester told me, andd he couldn't pass me because 1-i listened to the first guy, and 2-he couldn't "print out" another recipt, i was like that is such fucking bullshit, so that kinda kissed ass/ruined my weekend, because i cannot stand failing, and this is my 3rd fucking time, and 2 of em have been for bullshit reasons, and grrrrr so aggravating. So yeah the rest of the weekend... hmmm, i saw Kim twice, we watched a disney movie which wasnt too bad but got really gay towards the end, so yeah, saw her, then sunday, went over to anthony's and we watched the football game, which was me anth matt wes and megan. That was fun... and so yeah, today, doing nothing all day, just staying at home by myself.. how exciting. but i duno, lately, i've just been down, just some of the stuff i think about sometimes really get to me, stuff people say to me bothers me, and i duno, i hate this, because sometimes, life seems so great, and everything is going fine, then other times it seems like its j/ a constant hell. i duno, things r just so messed up for me, and i j/ dont know nemore... so yeah, thats my depressing update, hope things will get better.. they usually do 1 comment|post comment

[14 Jan 2004|04:38pm] hmmmm... things have been kind of good, kind of bad, lots of both, but lets see, this weekend was.. ok, i had solo fest on friday, and i got a 100, but im not that happy or anything, cuz my bro got a 93, and my mom is totally blowing him off, which i really dont like... i mean, i dont mind the attention, but i dont like the fact my bro is being ignored, cuz i know what it is like, and it blows. so yeah, then saturday i was supposed to go skiing, but my ride never called, so that kinda bombed my plans, but then i got to see kim for a long time, we went out to Friday's and had dinner, then came home and we "watched" out of time.... yet i still duno what its about.. i wonder y, but neways, so sunday kissed ass too, but i really dont want to write about it, and then yeah.. so monday was back to school, and a bunch of people got pissed at me for more reasons i dont want to write about, but i seem to b pissing off every1 lately.. i duno y, it j/ seems to be because of me.. but i duno, im ttryin to work things out.. for some howver it doesnt look good, curry knows what im talking about haha CHRIS FUCKING DIEHL!!! dont ask, its a long story, but yeah, so then ive had a ton of homework too, i got my band midterm 2morow, i got to work on my french midterm 2morow, and j/ there seems to b a lot of shit to do this week, but once itgs over, 3 day vacation!! im kinda lookin forward to it, but i duno, it should be good, hopein to hang out with a bunch of people, but ill see what happens. so yeah, thats my life, friends r kinda.. i duno, family.. is the usual, and things with Kim could not be better.. post comment

[06 Jan 2004|07:12pm] Leave a comment and post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love -- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say. Yes, it's stolen, but lets see how many people will actually comment in mine... 5 comments|post comment

She is amazing [01 Jan 2004|09:54am] [ mood | happy ] Happy New Years everyone!! hope veryone had fun with whatever they did. AS for me, i went to the Harte's with my family, their family, and Kim, even though she really didnt want to go, (thank you!) but ti was still lots of fun, we played pool, where I WON! cuz Kim cheated!!, and we played ping pong, watched bruce almighty, stopped the movie, watched the ball drop for like 30 seconds haha, then finished it up, and I got my first kiss on New Years WHOOOO!!! O yeah, we also played Scattgories, and almost won, but we only lost by one point.. but it was a great night to a bullshit day. I failed my roadtest again, but it was for bs reasons this time, it would take to long to explain, but if anyone really honestly cared, then they could ask me.. so yeah, its startin to get pretty annoying... grrrrrrr, but o well, i had a GREAT night. I've been with the best person in the world for the last 9 days in a row!! This has been like the greatest break, I've hung out with friends, seen Kim sooo much, and I am soo happy, I love her so much... cuz i mean, like last night, she really didn't want to go over to someone else's house for New Years, but she did go, for me.. ahh its so great to have someone like her in my life, and i love her more than anything, but I won't get all into it, because I'm guessin most people don't want to read it, but yeah, I hope everyone had a great new year, and has a good rest of break. 1 comment|post comment

[27 Dec 2003|07:20pm] so yeah havent really updated in awhile, but its been good, been bad, but yeah christmas was pretty good, i got a bunch of james bond dvd's cuz those movies are the best, and i also got bad boys 2 which is also a great movie, when it is actually watched... haha, and i also got band of brother, cept the book it was based on, not the movies, and yeah... pretty dam good, i was very happy, then i saw later, and she got me a cd which i wanted, and the a hoodie which is so freakin comfortable!! I love you!!, and yeah, speaking of kim, ive seen for her for... 4 days in a row, and it has been great. Last night, went to megans house.. even though i was supposed to be going to curry's (way to tell me megan)and so yeah, that was kinda funny, and we watched a marathon of degrassi which is like a 5 yr old soap opera, but hey, it was great hangin out with everyone, we got to do it again. and then I'm still waiting to go skiing, all this damn snow, and it melts the next freakin day.. very frustrating, but o well, so yeah, this is whas goin on, break is pretty good so far, hopefully it stays the same post comment

[16 Dec 2003|06:41pm] so yeah, things have been goin great.. until today, where it all just went downnnnnnhill. Today sucked ass, prolly the worst in quite awhile, for many reasons, but i won't get into them, itd just make me mad, and probably other people mad as welll... but i don't know, lots of stuff is going on right now, family, friends, and lots of stuff, is all coming down at once, i dont know.. i really don't want to explain, and i'm sure not too many people honestly care anyways, so i'll just leave it at that, i've got the people i can really talk to, and i will, because they can always make me feel better.. but yeah, i actually don't feel liek writing neemore... 1 comment|post comment

I never meant to hurt you... [06 Dec 2003|09:25am] so yeha, last night was great, i went and saw kim, we went out to dinner, and went back to her house, which was lots of fun, but that afternoon she seemed really angry, and i had no idea why, so instead of telling me she was mad and didnt' want to talk about it, she told me she was fine, so i figured there was sumtin wrong, so i asked her a few times, and she finally said there was sumtin wrong, which is all i wanted to know, she doesnt have to tell me, she doesnt have to tell me why she is, i just want to know if shes ok, cuz i dont need to know every little thing going on in her life, i respect her privacy, but i still dont know, im there for her, and when she does need me, she'll talk to me about it, and thats fine, but she said she feels like im "making" her tell me, which i am not trying to do, she says she doesnt want to talk about it, so ill leave it at that... she also said that whenever i do tell her something, i always say "it'll get better" or some bs like that, and maybe i do, but isnt all i say, because i like to help people, i like it when they talk to me bout stuff, it shows that they trust you, they (maybe) want your advice or help.. things do get better, other times they get worse, you don't know what is going to happen. You don't know what the future holds.. but i don't know, it kinda hurt, it was like saying "thanks for the help", but sarcastically, like i've never helped at all, i don't know, maybe i haven't, but i will still try to be there, even if she doesn't need it, and i never tried to make you feel "guilty" so you'd tell me, i just wanted to be someone you could trust, but i guess things will go as they do, but i will always be there for you, and i am sorry.... post comment

[  |:] so yeah, thanksgiving weekend is over.. wasn't that great... well until saturday it wasn't that great.. went and saw my family who lives near nyc, and then i came home on friday afternoon, where i then went and saw Identity at laurie's house with me, Kim, wes, curry, laurie and megan which was fun, but i was kinda in a bad mood.. from some family stuff, but o well, im over it, so yeah then saturday came and it SNOWED!!! i was so happy, i love the snow, winter is by far my favorite season and im so happy when it snows haha, so that made my day good, and then i went and got to see kim from like 430-11, which doesnt happen very often, gettin to see her for so long, and that was soooo great, cuz i love bein with her, adn i love her sooo much.. even thought i was beaten severely... but o well, we watched bad boys 2 which was pretty good for what i saw of it.. so saturday was amazing, im just glad i go to spend a long time with her, then today, i got to watch the bills game who finally kiked ass, its about freakin time, haha but thanksgiving was ok, saturday was an AMAZING day, and yeah, that pretty much all thats going on in my boring life!! so yeah, back to school tomoroow.. can't wait... post comment

[24 Nov 2003|07:29pm] [ mood | happy ] so yeah, its thanksgiving this week, which means no school for 3 days!! whoo!!, but im going to be gone away at my grandparents wed-fri, but oh well, it won't be too bad, just the 6 hour drive there.... but hey, its all good, long as their is no school... but yeah, things are going good now, school is well... school, im doing all right in my classes, could be a little better, so i've decided to try harder, and yeah, today was pretty good.. however, last night.. bout 730 i got 3 people askin me about homework in classes thaty i had no idea we had homework in!!, so i had to hurry up and do it all before i went to bed... what fun that was, but oh well, had 3 quizzes today and none of em were that bad at all, so thats good, but oh well, this weekend was pretty good, I saw Kim on saturday for a little while, and she had pizza and wings for dinner here, and then she ate all my candy....... but don't ask, that was mainly for her, but yeah, things are going pretty good, got my friends, and the greatest girlfriend in the world who i love so much, and then i don't know, things are just going really great right now... I hoep it lasts post comment

Things could not be more perfect... [17 Nov 2003|06:55pm] As it says in my title, things are great, I am loving life so much right now, which hasn't happened to me in a long time... I had the busiest weekend in a long time too, friday and saturday I went to hell, aka area-all state, the director guy was such a dick, and i didn't like it at all, but then sunday I had my RPYO concert, which was great becuase Kim came, and i also got to see her on Saturday, and we watched "the Challenge" the newest Mary-Kate and Ashley movie.... haha, but yeah, it was basically a reality show.. with morals, but hey, Kim loves em, but o well, school is going ok, i got a 77 on french WHOO!!!, at least i didnt fail this time which is always good, and i duno things are just going so good rite now, ive got my friends, ive got the greatest girlfriend anyone could ever ask for, and the things are just good... but yeah, I decided to no longer make these entries friends only nemore, cuz if i got nething to say, i can always make it friends only if i want to... so i think that is all for today, things could not be better. 1 comment|post comment

Maybe someday the world will be ready for me... [26 Oct 2003|06:12pm] SO yeah, havent updated in a little while, but nothing interesting has really happened... i got to see Kim this weekend, which is good news, because i wasn't sure if i would be able to see her, but i could, so it was all good. We went and saw Scary Movie 3 which is really funny, and yeah, i also applied for a job at blockbuster, which i hope i get, because i really don't want to work at a place like Wegmans or sumtin, but oh well, I'll see what happens. Cuz i really need a job, because i want to get a car sometime, and since my parents said i have to pay for it all myself... i really need a job, but hey thats ok, so yeah, things r goin... ok, been much better, but gettin better than what they were, but i dont know, there are some things bothering, but can't write about them on here, because who knows who might read it...... but i don't know, theyre are things that make my life great, such as my friends, and Kim, who has done more for me than i think she will ever know, but then there are other things that have really made my life hell but some people have really done things that have hurt me, but then others have made it better, j/ by being there for me when i need them, thank you to all of you. but enough of my problems, i have to go finish a stupid lab, and start parenting final, which reminds me, ne1 who reads this, does anyone have an idea for a childrens game that i could make??? but yeah, that was my weekend, and now off to finish more homework.. i cant wait... post comment

[19 Oct 2003|10:20am] Haven't updated in a little while, but I've been busy.. This weekend has been great once again, Friday, i went and watched Kim's Field hockey game, but only saw the last ten minutes because i couldn't get a ride from a certain person.. Wes.. haha but yeah, so i hung out with Kim, and then we went to Barnes and Noble with megan and Wes, quite fun, specially when we shoved Kim into the trunk of Megan's car, and Kim goes and decides to break it... haha but then on Saturday, I stayed at home, and then Kim came over after dinner, which is great like always, except shes really sick, and I probably will be too, but hey, that's ok!! and so i had a bunch of homework i thought i had to do, such as writing a speech for English, but I really didn't want to do it, and so I asked a bunch of people and they said it is just like writing a persuasive Essay, so I thought.. hmmmm, maybe I'll just use one i already wrote. SO i found one on the War on Iraq, and so now it's all done!! Took about two minutes.. good stuff. But hopefully itll sound good when I'm talking, but I hate talking in front of a class, I just get uncomfortable, but oh well, everyone else will have to be doing one too.. But yeah, thought id update since i havent done it in awhile, but back to the very littel homeowkr i have left!!! post comment

I never want to let go... [14 Oct 2003|07:56pm] [ mood | confused ] So yeah, today was quite.. weird. School wasn't too bad, got another french project, so me and Wes are workin together once again... but then i get home, and i said i hate you to my dog, btu iw as kidding so my momgoes, dont worry he hates you just like evreyone else in this, so i was like ok... then she comes back down, and goes, so why do you hate everyone in this family... and I was very confused, I mean, it was so random, and I have no idea where she found that out, but o well dont matter, then my dad decides hey, lets go fold the pool cover while it is extremely windy out!!!so what should have taken 5 took about half an hour.. all because we had to keep foldin it over and over cuz the wind was blowin it away... but what fun!!! and also, in my last entry, people decide to leave their random comments... specially the second one.. got me rather confused cuz it wasn't kim, so whoever it was, tell me who u r!!! but yeah, very confusing day, kinda sucked, but o well, got to go do some homeowrk i forgot haha 6 comments|post comment

I could look into her eyes forever... [13 Oct 2003|07:17pm] weekend was great, today sucked ass... I got to see Kim saturday and sunday which was great, even though it was only once... haha, and so yeha, that was great, but today sucked, my whole family has been pissed since i came home yesterday, no idea why, but just angry at me, so that is sucks, and they all just keep yelling at me, and its really pissing me off, so im kinda lokking forward to school tomorrow to get away from my house, kinda sad, but hey, its better than home, where at least i can see my friends. But yeah, ive got my friends, ive got someone who cares about me for who i am, and it is the greatest feeling in the world to know that someone cares for u, someone u can tell anything to and not have to worry whether they will think ur retarded, cuz they already know you are.. I have nothing to hide from her, and I am glad i can feel that way, but that was my weekend.. good and bad, but i really miss her 3 comments|post comment

[12 Oct 2003|12:10am] [ mood | loved ] wow, things could not get much better, I had an amazing day today... went over to Kim's with megan and wes, which was quite fun, especially the part wher we got naked and ran through the yard... don't ask, but yeah, I asked out Kim tonight, and we going out again, so we're technically up to dating for the fifth time, but hey, i'd say its been worth, and always will be, she is an amazing person, and she always will be, and I hope that this time will be as great as the last... So i no longer feel like my life is empty, having her back in it has given me such a great feeling about life, like I now have a reason to get up everyday,a reason to look forward to tomorrow, knowing that I will still see her in my dreams, and a reason to live, my life has turned around, and I am loving every minute of it, and I just want to thank you Kim, for giving me.... another chance, We will see where this will take us, and I hope that I can be everything you will ever want. But i get to see her again tomorrow, and I cannot wait, because I feel like nothing could ever go wrong when I am with her... but wow, things have become so great.. and I hope they will stay this way. 1 comment|post comment

But then all that I need, I’d always be dreaming of you [09 Oct 2003|07:52pm] [ mood | anxious ] so yeah, havent updated in a couple days, but nothing that interesting has happened... i've been caught up in homework... the stupid teachers always seem to have streaks where you get no homework, then they all give you a ton the next day, and one of those ton of homework days was today, except we finally had an easy lab, and not one that took 2 hours to do. But things haven't been that bad for me lately, things with me and Kim are going great, could be better, but we'll see about that, i get to see her again on Sunday, i think, so i can't wait for that, even though i really miss her right now. And yeah, i get to go to gates chili homecoming tomorrow, while about 50 other people r going to that jason mraz guy's concert, everyone seems to know who he is, but I have still never heard any of his songs... well, thats all thats happened, can't wait till sunday, i also love how a lot of poeple get off tomorrow, but does Penfield?? NOOOOOOOOOO, stupid ass Dr. gray.... but o well, we still get off monday, which i guess is a little better, but hope this weekend is as good as i hope it will be. post comment

She fixes her lips... They always look perfect [06 Oct 2003|08:08pm] So yeah, today was all right.. i have to do a french project on a freakin impressionist painter which can honestly kiss my ass, i hate french this year, vanvliet is the biggest bitch.... but oh well, I'm only doing it for college, but she can still go to hell, but the rest of the classes are fine, we finished the crucible movie in english, so i think we starting another book, not sure what, but hope its not too bad. but yeah, today was boring as hell, cant wait to start my fench project!! which I am cheating on with Wes, we both just gonna look stuff up, and trade our information later so we dont have to look up as much, so that should be easier. So today was all right, better than most, still happy bout this weekend, and we get a lonng weekend next week, cant wait post comment

back to reality... [05 Oct 2003|08:26pm] So yeah, this weekend had to probably the best i have ever had.. today sucked, but yesterday more than made up for it, i still cannot believe yesterday... so amazing.. j/ wow, i'll rememebr that for a long time.. so anyways, today was boring as hell, did nothing, cuz i was done with homework, but the BIlls finally won again!! hopefully, that should give them some confidence for there games comin up, so that was good, and i also did a little homework that i forgot about, but i still have more but thats in school, so ill see what i can do in school, and j/ hope they dont check it, but yeah, thats basically all that happened today.... Missin her soooo much.... post comment

My world has ended... and my dreams have begun [04 Oct 2003|11:18pm] [ mood | happy ] Wow... I cannot even describe today, it was better then perfect, i never want it to end, but unfortunately, all good thigns must end. Today i hung out with kim all afternoon. It was... j/... i cant even describe it, she is one of the most amazing people i will ever know. I miss her already, and its only been about 10 minutes since ive seen her. Everything about her is amazing, and I cannot describe how much she means to me, we went and saw The rundown, which is a really good movie, i suggest everyone go see it, haha then we took her home at like 11, but today was the best day in sooo long, and i hope things will work between us.. My life is no longer empty post comment

She once said she loved me.... [03 Oct 2003|08:11pm] i just read some1 journal, M/C BOB, which i think is matt curry cuz he brought in pogs for lunch hahaa and it kinda got me thinkin bout a lot of stuff... such as what is love?? i hate those people who go out for like a day, then say they are "in love" it kinda bothers me, cuz if they are,hen great, see if theyre still goin out in a year and then see what they think... but some people may know what love is, they know what it feels like, and know what it is to be in love. I think that there are 2 kinds, one for those friends you can always depend on, the ones u can tell eerything to, the ones that can make u laugh and feel better when ur down. and i feel that way for a bunch of my friends. Then there are the friends that are just there for a god laugh, no one you would be willing to trust, but just there for a good time. but as i said before, there are the friends you could tell anything to, the ones that make your life worth living. And now on to the second kind of love.. i think it is the love you can feel for one person, and one person only, someone you would give your life to see happy, and not feel one ounce of pain, a person you would love to be happy, whether it is with you or not. Someone you can talk to for hours, even if it is about nothing, where you dont have to worry about what they will think of you, and u don't see anything wrong with them, even if others do. Love is being happy jst thinking about the person, even if you only can see them once a week. But i duno, Thats what it is to me, and I think I have found that love.. But, I could be wrong, which is why I am waiting to see what will happen. But I cannot stand people who say i love u, when in truth, they probably have no idea what it might be to them, but if they do, good for them, but maybe someday they will find out what love really is.. because it is a strong word, and some people could take it differently then others, and it could really end up hurting someone. It happened to me once, before i knew what love really was. I had a gf who cheated on me with about 9 guys, and slept with like 6 of em... she was a big time whore, and i was stupid not to see it. She had always told me she loved me, and i took it seriously, and when we broke up... i didnt know what to do. I did some stuff i probably shouldnt have and i have regretted it every day since, but i realized, someday, everyone will find tht one love, and when they do, they will know why life is worth living... but I just felt like i needed to get all of this out, and for anyone who reads this, hope I didnt offend u, or piss u off or nething, so if i did, im sry, and just ignore this, but I just needed to get it out, so i think this will be all.... 3 comments|post comment

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